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The State of Disbelief: A therapist’s story of love, death and mourning
Current price:
$17.84
Publication Date: July 5th, 2022
Publisher:
Short Books
ISBN:
9781780725444
Pages:
288
Description
A revelatory book about death and mourning by a psychotherapist faced with sudden bereavement
“In this brilliant and deeply moving memoir, Juliet Rosenfeld turns to the writing of Sigmund Freud to help her find her way after unfathomable loss. The State of Disbelief is a beautifully crafted book of extraordinary power: about grief, mourning, and how we can all live more fully every day.” – Will Schwalbe, New York Times bestselling author of The End of Your Life Book Club
“I relate deeply to Juliet Rosenfeld’s poignant account of the loss of her beloved. Death, while it awaits us all, remains the last taboo. I applaud Juliet’s ability to fearlessly examine spousal loss and provide a roadmap for others who one day, hope to navigate it with courage and grace.”
– Katie Couric
"Juliet Rosenfeld's tender, wise and lyrical book performs the most imperative and humane function for the reader: it lends them a sense that, for all the pain and confusion of bereavement, some sense of reconciliation and containment will one day be possible, that life will go on alongside death, as the dead would surely always wish for us." – Alain de Botton
When Juliet Rosenfeld's husband dies of lung cancer only seven months into their marriage, everything she has learnt about death as a psychotherapist is turned on its head.
As she attempts to navigate her way through her own devastating experience of loss, Rosenfeld turns to her battered copy of Freud's seminal essay 'Mourning and Melancholia'. Inspired by the distinction Freud draws between the savage trauma of loss that occurs at the moment of death – grief – and the longer, unpredictable evolution of that loss into something that we call mourning, she finds herself dramatically rethinking the commonly held therapeutic idea of 'working through stages of grief'.
This is a beautifully written meditation on what the investment of love means and how to find your own path after bereavement in order for life to continue.
“A beautifully written, profoundly moving and immersive account of grief that will bring solace to readers who have been bereaved, and guide anyone who knows them. Which pretty much means all of us, at some point in our lives.” Louise France, Times
Praise for The State of Disbelief: A therapist’s story of love, death and mourning
"A breath-taking piece of work: tragic, terrifying and gripping as any novel, but ultimately, thanks to Rosenfeld's clear-eyed psychoanalytical honesty, also deeply consoling. I don't think writers or human beings can share their experience more movingly and generously than this."—Julie Myerson
"A brave and beautifully-written account of an experience usually shrouded in silence. This is such an intelligent and honest book."—Amelia Gentleman
"A masterpiece... bold and accessible."—Professor Brett Kahr, Psychotherapist, Senior Fellow at Tavistock Institute
"Juliet's memoir is a tale of two losses: the loss of a partner and the loss of faith in the power of psychoanalysis to make soothing sense of trauma."—Daily Mail
"I couldn't put it down… highly recommend."—Heather Saul, Independent
"Profound, insightful and moving, The State of Disbelief takes the reader on an honest and heartbreaking journey. With extraordinary talent, Juliet Rosenfeld articulates the unspeakable feelings each of us confront when faced with the loss of those we love. She gives words to our deepest and most lonely experiences, and by doing, helps us to process them. This is a powerful book that reminds us what it means to be human."
—author of Emotional Inheritance, Galit Atlas Ph.D.,
"Rarely has the physical nature of memory of the dead been so well written about."—The Oldie
"This powerfully written book has much to say both to the bereaved and to those working with them about loss and how we can come to live with it, lovingly, as we once lived with the one who has died."—Therapy Today Magazine
"Love is a strange word to use about a book on bereavement, but the unflinching honesty of The State of Disbelief shines a light on the parts of life most of us would rather not - dying, bereavement and survival - and you feel stronger for reading it."—The Telegraph, Lisa Armstrong
"Movingly captures the sheer weight of mourning in the lives of those left behind."—Times Literary Supplement, Beth Guilding
"I relate deeply to Juliet Rosenfeld’s poignant account of the loss of her beloved. Death, while it awaits us all, remains the last taboo. I applaud Juliet’s ability to fearlessly examine spousal loss and provide a roadmap for others who one day, hope to navigate it with courage and grace."—Katie Couric
"Juliet Rosenfeld's tender, wise and lyrical book performs the most imperative and humane function for the reader: it lends them a sense that, for all the pain and confusion of bereavement, some sense of reconciliation and containment will one day be possible, that life will go on alongside death, as the dead would surely always wish for us."—Alain de Botton
